(The following is what I submitted as a paper for my Designing Interactive Characters class. I made some point which I wish to share and get feedback on.)

Many a well wisher has suggested to me that I change my characters before starting this assignment. “How are you going to actually analyze Bob and Bub?” they ask me. “With gusto!” I scream, as I put on my space commander helmet and jump out the window with cape trailing behind me. I think it’s important to point out that a game doesn’t have to have deep and well fleshed out characters to be fun. Fun being the overarching goal for any game, in my opinion. Yet at the same time, even simple characters need to make sense. Need to fit to their role in the world they’re inhabiting. And based on their appearance, world, actions (both on their own and under player control), we can still gleam a lot about their nature and mindset. Sometimes, being a vague character can even help the immersion of the game. The player is allowed to inflect their own story onto the character, and most times the story will be one the player can closer empathize with to be better connected with this character, or one which makes the character so outlandish that it deciding their actions and seeing what choices they’ll have to make in the future is so interesting the player is inclined to follow the character. I played Fallout 3 in both these ways, and the effect worked. When a character who is designed to be a blank slate is also the most interesting character, something about the role of characters in games as compared to other mediums needs to be examined.

But this is trailing away from Bob and Bub. A couple of dragons on a quest to defeat some monsters. We can start here by looking at the physical aspect of these two. They’re dragons. Classically dragons are huge creatures of myth with immense power and some control over the elements. If you allow bubbles to be an element, then this holds fairly true. If we hold all of these true, it even goes to say something about the monsters inhabiting the world. They are also huge, and so powerful that the only creatures more powerful then them are the legendary dragons. Being dragons lends to the fantasy setting of the game, and also manages to lend a element to the game play: without the spines on their backs, they wouldn’t be able to pop the bubbles containing enemies, thereby defeating them. I’m sure that there are other creatures they could have been, and the game wouldn’t have been all that different, but at the same time I can’t imagine any creature better then they could be. They’re imaginary, they’re powerful, and when something as majestic as a dragon is rendered in such a cartoon style, it’s impossible not to understand the lighthearted and fantasy setting that they were setting out to achieve (and did achieve, by my account at least).

Of course, that’s just the physical. While they accomplish their roles there very well, when it comes to the other aspects of their character they seem to fail. Bob and Bub don’t have a past other then “we’re dragons, we’re going on an adventure to defeat monsters.” No explanation as to why. Why do they need to defeat monsters? Why are there monsters? Why can they shoot bubbles? Was fire too good for them or something? Is it possible that they know they’re just PC’s in a game? And my question: Is that so bad?

They are characters born in a different era. An era of skill and points and quarters. People playing a game in an arcade – or just at the machine in the local pizzeria – didn’t have time to follow the adventures of some blond mercenary with a giant sword and a sorted past of dopplegangerism. All they needed was, “President Harry has been kidnapped. Are you a bad enough dude to get him back?” and then you got right to the punching and finding out. And then 3 lives later you ate your pizza and went on with your day. It was a short engagement mentality which followed on to the early home consoles. The only strange part about this was the fact that the lives system followed. Lives were something to keep people plugging in quarters, but when you’re at home it’s free to play. (If anything, this makes me question why people are bugging about the “hand up” system in the latest Prince of Persia game. It seems to me that it’s actually finally accepting something that’s been needed for a long time.) But it’s not like the new home setting required more story telling. “Bowser stole the princess. Get her back,” is a story that got inumerous people through 8 worlds of simple running and jumping and in fact instilled exhilaration into them when they finally rescued the princess. And then they went on with their lives. If you want to fill a game with character development and plot, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just importaint to remember that  a game doesn’t need that. Books and movies do need that, but games don’t. As long as they’re fun to play, they can succeed regardless of story.

Bob and Bub are out to defeat the monsters, and the evil wizard who seems to be behind them all. Just the fact that they’re the characters and are the ones doing all the monster popping tells me that they’re characters of strong will with a sense of morality that leads them without failing them. To me, that’s more then engaging enough to make me want to help these guys defeat that wizard.

While I’ve just said that to fill their roles Bob and Bub don’t need to be deep characters, let’s continue this analysis by trying to figure out how they fall on the Big Five matrix. Because the given information about them is so limited (we’re not explicitly given anything except for “it’s adventure time to the cave of monsters.”), most of it is going to be either inferred or speculated or plain old made up through my views of them, as I am the one doing the analysis. Still, let’s see what happens.

Openness: If they are as steadfast to their morals that “the wizard is evil, we stand for good, we are the protectors of the land from evil.” then I can’t imagine these two to be to open. Not to say that they’re mean or unkind creatures, just that their world exists in terms of black and white, good and evil. For the simplicity of the game, I’m actually able to accept that as their world very well. Just means they’re not going to be open at all. But such openness just doesn’t exist in their world.

Conscientiousness: From the point of dependableness, I suppose that depends on how you play. The farther you manage to get through the game, the more dependable you are. But considering that through all the levels they leave food lying all over the floor and then will eat it without a second thought…it doesn’t say much for their organization, or cleanliness for that matter.

Extroversion: From the friendly noises they make throughout their games, I’d be willing to believe Bob and Bub are extroverted creatures. Kind and friendly, willing to do things for the good of everyone, they take this adventure together. In Bubble Bobble 2 there even bring two more dragons along for the adventure. This could be a fallacy, however, because we don’t see how the dragons interact with the rest of the non-monster populace. It’s possible dragons stick to themselves and they only went on this because the terrified populace had to seek them out. Once they found them they were nice and went on this quest, of course. But at least among dragons they seem to be extroverted, even if the dragon race is somewhat aloof.

Agreeableness: Bob and Bub are quite possibly the most agreeable creatures known to man. Always friendly, willing to help, doing their best to never be mean or critical, and possibly even being gullible to some extent.

Neuroticism: While it take a very large amount of stress to make these dragons crack, they have been shown in some of their games to be in situations with characters who make them cautious, even to the point of freaking out at times. We could actually take this back and have it be a argument for introversion, as the only thing shown to make Bob and Bub falter is when they meet new non-dragon characters who they are unfamiliar with. It even goes back to openness, as it’s only characters they’re not familiar with that makes them stress out. The only thing to make the hesitate is people who they aren’t familiar with. Other then that, these dragons seem to be in control and completely at ease in all situations that they find commonplace.

I honestly believe that a game doesn’t need characters to be a good game. Game and play are synonymous, not game and story. A good story won’t fix a bad game, but a good game can make a bad story good enough. Although a good game and good story combination is best. However, I think the story much balance the game. If the story starts to overshadow the game, it becomes a question of why even bother expressing your story through a game. Bob and Bub are a good example of story enough story behind a good and fun game.

F*R*A*G: If assholes could fly, this place would be busier then O’Hare.

The purpose of the experiment was to find the effects on a subject over the proceeding time period. Professor Alan Devair used himslf as the subject, and his observations were recorded and are presented here:

0:01 – Feelin’ fine.

0:06 – Feel a fuzzy sensation on my lower leg. It was just the cat brushing up against me.

0:19 – Feel kind of hungry.

0:20 – Go make a sandwich and eat it. Delicious.

0:25 – Hunger disapates.

0:28 – Consider that I might be recording findings to often. Decided that’s true, and kick off to finish reading a book I’m in the middle of, Dapper Dan’s Dangerous Delivery.

1:34 – Wasn’t that bad of a book. It would be great if it wasn’t fiction, as Dapper Dan seems like an upstanding kinda man.

2:20 – Feel a chill. Upon inspection, find that kitchen window is open. Don’t remember opening it. Close it, and reconsider close scrutiny of events. Decided to Record even more events.

4:37 – Promptly forget. Not just to record things more often, but the entire events of the past two hours and seventeen minutes.

4: 45 – What was that noise?

4:59 – Believe I’m becoming paranoid. Watch TV to try and relax.

5:20 – Vince convinces me to purchase ShamWow’s.

7:12 – I think Wilfred Brimley can see into my soul.

7:30 – Who Wants to be a Millionaire comes on, and fearing that that test on top of my own experiment would put me in double jeopardy, I turn off the TV.

7:33 – Get dizzy. Thinking about Jeopardy made me think of Wheel of Fortune. Decide I’m thinking too much for now and go to sleep.

9:41 – Awoken by breeze from kitchen window. Did I not actually close it before? And how did the breeze reach me across the house? Leave it open this time, but turn up heat.

10:00 – Hours reach double digits point. I eat a cupcake with two candles in it in celebration of this momentous occasion.

10:25 – It occurs to me that I do not own a cat. After a search, no cat is found on the premises.

14:10 – Fold some laundry. It seems stiffer then usual, must be cold in here. Turn up heat.

15:20 – My ShamWow’s arrive. That was fast.

16:00 – Wonder what the world will be like when everything becomes dystopian.

16:05 – Wow, so this is what dystopia is like…

17:10 – I never noticed before how longs my arms are.

17:14 – Begin contemplating moving to Europe so I can use the metric system to record length of arms and have it seem longer then using American measurements.

17:50 – Have allready filled two notebooks with scribbles and note on the best ways to exploit various conversions, measurements, mathematical formulas, and Catholics.

19:12 – I think I just debunked some fundamental principles of economics, quantum physics, and Judaism.

22:04 – Beleive that higher temperatures will make my brain function better. Turn heat up.

22:21 – Notice that the water in the toilet is boiling. Turn heat down.

24:30 – Under the findings of Jim Croce that you cannot hold time in a bottle, begin experiments in holding bullet time in a bottle.

24:56 – I don’t get it! Bullets are held in magazines, and Time IS a magazine! Why doesn’t this work?!

24:59 – Oh, this bottle is already full. Of whiskey.

25:00 – Now that that’s solved *hic* back to experiment.

27:00 – I swear I’m no longer breathing due to use of my diaphragm, but because the walls are expanding and contracting and changing the air pressure of the room forcing air in and out of my lungs.

27:74 – Now I’m pretty sure the entire time space continuum is starting to fuck with me.

30:03 – Dapper Dan shows up. We play some Super Smash Brothers Brawl.

30:31 – Dan throws down his controller in disgust, complaining that my use of sonic is cheap. I kick him in the balls and he leaves whimpering in pain. I am clearly the victor.

37:20 – I, Victor, champion and ruler of the realm, put out this decree over my lands: I demand cookies! BWAHAHAHA!!

45: 44 – My throne buzzes loudly and I realize I’ve been sitting on the washing machine. I come back from my imaginary realm, but promise the populace I will return to lead them one day.
50:01 – That goddamn cat is back. He’s in the kitchen. But I’ve got his number. I’m not going to look into or listen to the kitchen, to be sure I never have proof of his presence or absence. He will dissolve into a pool of quantum indecision.

50:15 – I’m not sure if my theory to get rid of the cat is entirely correct, so I refer to my notes from [17:50]. The books are filled with all of the lyrics to the Red Hot Chili Peppers discography. They do not backup or dissuade my fears.

64:12 – Hunger returns.

0:20 – With the line between reality and memory blurring, instead of making a new sandwich I relive eating the sandwich I had earlier. Still delicious.

64:15 – Hunger dissipates.

October 2nd, 1872 – ‘Very well, then. What time do you make it?’ ‘Eleven twenty-two,’ replied Passepartout, pulling an enormous silver watch from the depths of his waistcoat pocket. ‘Your watch is slow.’ ‘Pardon me, sir, but that’s impossible.’ ‘You’re four minutes slow. It is of no consequence. What matters is to note the difference. So, starting from this moment, 11.29 a.m. on Wednesday, 2 October 1872, you are in my employ.’ Whereupon Phileas Fogg got up, took his hat in his left hand, placed it on his head with the action of an automaton, and vanished without uttering another word.

77:07 – Does my face look pale to you?

78:49 – I’ve given up. All that which I had once found to be sure and truthful have turned against me.My paranoia is true, my works are meaningless. Life is a dream, and I am become death.

79:40 – I’m going to go lie down in the snow in my room. I guess my room is aspen now.

The records of the experiment end here. The Professor Devair was dissapeared from his apartment sometime after the last observation, and has not been seen since. The signs of his last actions are a number of opened but still full cans of cat food placed in animal traps, and the kitchen window is closed and has been shattered. Tatters of his shirt are discarded in front of the window.

These records are to be stored in the archive.

F*R*A*G: Die Hard 3 was a documentary filmed in real time. So was Robin Hood: Men in Tights.

So I was thinking of starting with a musing over how seeing my friends be productive really motivates me to be productive, but that rolls into reasons for motivation, who and what I consider friends and that could get me in trouble because I’m at that point of being tired where I think and say things that get me in trouble.  So instead, here’s a character introductary monolouge that I’ve had in my head for the past few days.

My name is Dominic VonWurstmer. I am an esteemed werewolf hunter, as was my father, his father before him, and so on. For 12 generations my bloodline has protected this land from the scourge of the werewolf. Vile monsters, the spawn of  demon dogs from  many eons ago. Twisting men into their own dark form and hordes, these creatures must be stoped. Removed from this plane. Destroied. This is the duty that falls upon my own hands. However, unlike my forefathers, I have also established myself as a renowned vampire hunter. No specific reasons, I just fucking hate vampires.

Eh, it’s something. And then the step after this is to take clips from the Twilight movie and lay the Symphony of the Night dialogue over it. I would be filled with the utmost joy to see Bella scream at Edward “DIE MONSTER. YOU DON’T BELONG IN THIS WORLD!”

—

So I got home today (what with the fall semester of college over) and instead of setting up here and anticipating some grove to get into while I’m here on break, I broke out the old snes and just started playing games. It’s odd. I never really forget that these are the games from which I come. You go through them, and I think you begin to see where parts of me come from. Megaman X, Super Street Fighter II Turbo, Tiny Toons Adventures: Buster Busts Loose, Nigel Mansen’s World Championship, Maui Mallard in Cold Shadow, Donkey Kong Country.

I fucking hate Donkey Kong Country. I don’t even know why. Something about the sounds, and the colors, and the way everything is rendered, and the animals chosen for the powerups, and the weird way that everything is slightly echo-y, and…I really can’t explain it. It’s not like it’s a bad game…it’s fun, but I just hate it. And the way in which I hate it is kinda the way in which I love Space Ghost. The color and sounds and bizzare “good for the time but seemingly hacked together now” kind of…meh. Or maybe like the Moxie Show. I don’t know, a lot of stuff from the 1995ish era has this kind of effect on me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to explain it. But if you put DKC next to SGC2C …you can draw no freaking conclusions. Look, I’ll do it now:

See!?! One I like, one I hate. And I bet it’s opposite of what the populace says. That’s why I’ve always considered myself the exception to the rules.

Phew.

Point was, is that these old games are haaaarrrrdddd. People who know me know what I’m like with games. I can beat them. I’m good at them. But I come back to these classics of mine, and I find myself getting stuck at the same points I would get stuck o those many years ago.I know it’s the same spots because I can remember them. Vividly. Now, this seems to say a few things. One, like I said, games back then were harder. Two, all my skills were developed at an early age. Three, which I think I can extend this into a whole point, but older games were givining you more for your money’s worth. I was Playing Ninja Gaiden II the other night (the 360 one) and I was smashing my head against the wall in a few places. But honestly, the amount of head smashing is a lot higher for these older games I’ve come home too. Just time and challenge wise, they demand more out of you, and so I think over all they’re going to increase your skills more when you finally get them beat. Simpler mechanics, but bigger challenges maybe? It’s like learning to juggle 6 balls or just 3 chainsaws. That’s kinda the choice. Or I’m just saying random words now. I think it has more to say about why I look for what I do in games. I’m a person who will look for challenges in games…as opposed to people who look for content, or social interation. There’s numerous reason to play games, and many things you could be looking for in games. But I come from a world of Mega Men and X’s, so I think it’s a good game if there’s a series of platforms with you on one side and the goal on the other. And if you hand me a large sprawling world with things to explore, I lose interest after a couple of hours. It’s just a matter of what I’ve come to expect from games.

*Yawn* ah well. I put my head back to the whetstone in the morning. For now, sleep is good. Always good.

F*R*A*G: Why am I like a large peice of furniture made out of a crocodile? Because I’m a snappy dresser.

See, when you come up with a sentence like, “It was like playing a horrifying and mesmerizing game of ‘what has been up my ass today?’,” you realize you’ve been awake too long. Then you go to bed.

F*R*A*G: Now that his days of public speaking are behind him, Jimmy Carter likes to spend is days doing the occasional bear fights.

Okay, I present you these two videos. I want you to watch them both at the same time.

First, Burnout 3 Takedown:

Second, Forza Motorsport 2:

Now then, astute viewers should notice a difference. This is something I’ve found myself explaining to people over the course of…a while now. Mainly: Burnout is a racing game, and forza is a driving game. Some people are skeptical when I say this, but let me explain.

Driving games are technical. You need to use your brakes. Perhaps driving “simulator” is more accurate, but it’s generally thought of as a game because it’s built around competitive races. But usually they are closer to simulators, attempting to test your skills as an actual driver. Turning, braking, maintaining momentum, tuning, shifting, drafting, drifting, passing, not hitting other cars, etc. These are some of the skills you need for driving games. Some driving games are: Forza, Sega GT, PGR, Grand Tourismo, Sega Rally.

Racing games are visceral. Their basic teachings are “Go fast. Faster. No, go as FAST as you FUCKING can. See that guy in front of you? Fuck him. If he deserved to win he’d be going faster then he is. GO FAST.” Many times they are designed so that you do not need to use brakes (to any reasonable amount), they have very exaggerated physics, and they generally test your skills of mastering the game’s engine, rather then actual driving physics. Also, many times they have weapons or power ups. Some racing games are: Burnout, F-Zero, Mario Kart, Micro Machines, Crusin’ USA, Megarace, Carmageddon, Kirby’s Air Ride.

I want to specifically bring up Kirby’s Air Ride, because I think it makes an importaint choice. Your “cart” is constantly accelerating in that game. You interact by applying brakes, using power-ups, and steering. But I think they do what Return to Sector 9 did with shooting – namely, doing it for you. Both these games take the most integral part of the gameplay and make it an inevitability. In Grand Tourismo and even Burnout, you have the option of never acclerating. Just sit there on the starting line and go make a sandwich. But that’s unexpected, and defies the objective of the game. Not in Kriby’s Air Ride. you have no choice but to move. Just as in Return to Sector 9, shooting is the point of the game, and they do it for you. In a way, be removing that option, they’re removing a choice from the player which forces them to focus on other aspects of the game. In RtS9, it’s doging and aiming, and in Kirby it’s steering and power ups. I think this is interesting and can make a game more fun…somehow…I’ll experiment with this later.

Yeah, my point is basically that, in the back of your mind, you knew that people who like Mario Kart might not like Grand Tourismo, but you may not have thought of separating them more then by name.

F*R*A*G: ‘Fast’ is one of those words that starts not looking right when you write it more then 5 times in a row.

Also, apparently when you go to that Particular coffee shop and say “gimmie all the spices”, that actually means “thow the cinamon stick itself in the cup.” I didn’t realize this until I finished the liquid part, and found a cinamon stick in my cup. I’ve been chewing on it all day and it’s delicious.

So this is my first time in Glen Falls. It’s really pretty. It’s kinda what I expect in a small city – It’s a dense commercial area with some living space strewn about, but it’s also got some breathing room, but yet isn’t desolate like Troy is. Got a lot of sky room. I really like that. Plus, if you plug “Glen Falls, NY” into google maps, it bascially puts the marker right on the coffee shop I’m sitting in right now. They have really good hot apple cider here. So this is like the middle of Glens Falls, which is awesome. I would love – absolutely love – to just go walk around and see what I could find in this place, but it’s just too freaking cold out for that today. The world is very cold at 6 am in november in New York, by the way.

When summer rolls around tho, I’ll come back here. From where I’m sitting I can see the Glen Falls Civic Center, which means they show shows, and I’m sitting next to some art on loan from the World Awareness Children’s Museum, which according to the sign is “an educational institution which fosters knowledge and appreciation of world cultures through exhibitions, Internation Youth Art Exchange, and educational out reach programs. We are committed to using art conceived through the eyes of children to promote peace and understanding among people of the world.”

That may be the fabled museum where the halls are lined with refridigerators to hang all the children’s artwork on. (Steven Wright refrence)

When Spring rolls around I’ll come back, My mom might want to come for the museum, but I just want to come to walk around. There’s a Small toy store across the street from here, and a billards hall to. The hall is selling off all it’s stuff, and it’s killing me to not by the $1350 arcade machine they’re selling. I’d have to empty my bank account to do it, but I totally could. (Yeah, I kinda decided that my dream job is to own my own arcade. Again, a rant for another time.) Plus there’s like a bunch of shopping centers within like a 10 minute drive, including a Toys R Us (which we’ll probably be stopping at on the way back :3) and there’s a Pizza Hut! They’ve been going extinct, but there’s one here…

I’ll have to see if there’s an information center or some such around here, so I can get some…info about Glen Falls. Also gotta go to Albany there’s a couple of streets around there that might be good to walk around. But Albany gives me more a “big business / historical site” vibe, while this place seems more “pratical / alive and pumpin” feel. There might be some sweet clubs around here.

Oh well. I’m gonna play Dawn of War in this cafe for the next few hours.

F*R*A*G*: “Why aren’t we KILLING THINGS YET?? Where’s the BLOOD I was promised??” “*points* Aren’t they so cute!?”

You know, I blogged earlier and I liked it. I really miss it. It’s a weird…thing? Experience? Activity? Yeah, sure. It’s not exactily like talking with someone (what with today’s world of email and IM ,you can see the comparision), but it also doesn’t feel completely like I’m making a public service announcement type thing, either. It’s a rant, pure and simple is what it is. Pick a topic and then let your mind follow the trail of that thought until it runs out of time, energy, or vespian gas trail. It’s like thinking, but only like a quarter the work of normal thinking! Plus is a solitary activity (the way I’ve always done it, not nessissairly always true), which is the kinda thing I’m usually up for.

Man, I really love the music in Cave Story.

It’s wierd tho, becaue it combines not talking to anyone in particular, and talking to everyone at once. And since anyone who wants can read it, you get some interesting responses. For me, usually, none at all. Or nothing substatntial, at least… *shrug*

See, in Psyc we learned about this thing called “learned helplessness”. It works kinda like this:

In part one of Seligman and Steve Maier’s experiment, three groups of dogs were placed in harnesses. Group One dogs were simply put in the harnesses for a period of time and later released. Groups Two and Three consisted of “yoked pairs.” A dog in Group 2 would be intentionally subjected to pain by being given electric shocks, which the dog could end by pressing a lever. A Group 3 dog was wired in parallel with a Group 2 dog, receiving shocks of identical intensity and duration, but his lever didn’t stop the electric shocks. To a dog in Group 3, it seemed that the shock ended at random, because it was his paired dog in Group 2 that was causing it to stop. For Group 3 dogs, the shock was apparently “inescapable.” Group 1 and Group 2 dogs quickly recovered from the experience, but Group 3 dogs learned to be helpless, and exhibited symptoms similar to chronic clinical depression.

In part two of the Seligman and Maier experiment, these three groups of dogs were tested in a shuttle-box apparatus, in which the dogs could escape electric shocks by jumping over a low partition. For the most part, the Group 3 dogs, who had previously “learned” that nothing they did had any effect on the shocks, simply lay down passively and whined. Even though they could have easily escaped the shocks, the dogs didn’t try.(Wikipedia)

See, it goes back to what I’ve been saying for a long time (kinda hit the subject in my video blog even!). Because you had some experience that you weren’t in control of, you start thinking that you never have control, and you don’t even try, which means you never realize that you actually do have control. It’s a shame. I feel really bad for those dogs. And I’ve know a number of people who have fallen victm to this. I need to find a fix to it one day…

(I suggest you read the rest of the wiki article. It’s something I find very interesting)

Okay, that’s it for me for now. Sleep needs to come, because college starts earlier then I’d like it too. In a sense, at least high school got me up early so by the time I woke up I was allready moving. Kinda like if you start driving your car in the back of a moving truck.

F*R*A*G: MINE MORE GAS.

So I found a lot of people in the previous generation to ours have told stories that begin “I had this roommate in college once…”. Those stories usually go on to involve how many games of beer “insert game here” they won, or how many hours consecutively they were awake, or how far to the left of the trampoline they landed. Many of them have to do with something ridiculous to a high quantity, come to think of it…

I am “proud” to say that now I am the roommate in one of those stories.

It all started last night around 10:30. After a number of hours without eating, I finally decided I was hungry enough to stop being lazy (in that way, being lazy is a great / horrible diet plan, but that’s a different story) and cook myself something to eat. Some honey BBQ chicken wings, to be exact. I had seen the pizza menu on the fridge advertising wings, and then I remembered we had some of our own in the freezer.

Knowing everyone else had pretty much just finished eating the Chinese food they ordered, I went ahead and cooked the whole bag. I had my reasons…Mainly that the resealable part of the resealable bag broke when I opened it, and the fact that there was another bag inside threw me off and made me think well, I guess I can’t really reseal the rest of these… A complete fallacy, I know, but it seemed to make sense at the time. I didn’t really think anything was wrong until Will asked, “How many did you make?” and I held up the empty bag and said, “…All of them…?”

“Why would you do that? We all just ate!”

“Oh well.”

18 minutes later, the wings were cooked. I had just finished an event in Forza Motorsport 2 and was ready for a break, so I took all the wings and sat where Will and Lincoln were. Then I ate all the wings. Then I died.

Okay, I didn’t really die. But it wasn’t until later that we found out that it was 2.25 pounds of wings. I suppose it’s less when you consider the massive pile of bones that were left when I was done, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that I ate all the wings. Sad part is, I didn’t have a problem with it until the last 7. And as some of you might know, a rule of food is that if you eat more then 50% of something in one sitting, you’re a pig UNLESS you finish the entire thing, in which case you’re the VICTOR. With this in mind, I drank a can of ginger ale and crawled my way bite by bite through those last 7 wings.

The biggest problem with those wings was that they were mostly goo. Not just the sauce on them, but the chickeny bits themselves. It’s not that they were undercooked, because there were no pink parts, it’s just that they had no fight to them. people without teeth could have put up a good fight against these wings.

But yeah, goo. When you put that much chicken goo into your stomach, your stomach gets pissed off. And it’s neat, because it’s not even a discomfort from your stomach. It’s more from like the lung region. It’s like your stomach is so full and busy trying to deal with all the bullshit you just put into it, that your lungs have to pass you the message that you’re a dumb shit.

Feeling a bit naseous, I knew I had to act fast. I had paul pass me the last of the V8 Splash (seeing as how I was unfit to move to the fridge under my own power) and I finished that off as well. The idea behind this was that the chicken goo was bad for me, so I had to negate it by pouring on something that was good for me. It’s just like neutralising a powerful acid with a powerful base. GREAT PLAN, HUH? So I just gave up and lied on the floor. 15 minutes later I wake up and am feeling good enough that I go to bed for real.

The part of this that makes it a great story, is that it can be exaduratded. I almost drank an entire 3 liter of cola instead of the V8. It would have been epic, but I knew I couldn’t handle that. But it still led to speculation of how the story could be more epic. Sitting at a table one evening, a child is asking for a third serving of food, and you begin to tell the tale…

“You know, I had a roomate in college once. One night he was hungry so he decided tohave something to eat. He ate all the food in the house, and then DIED.”

…and then that child has anorexia problems in life. But I digress.

Last night I ate an entire bag of wings by myself, and now even 12 hours later my stomach is still calling me an idiot.

College has some really fun parts.

F*R*A*G: This is by far the most adorable car ever made. Even the liscense plate says AWWWW!

So, I took it upon myself to go through every single blog post I ever made to my blogs – one by one. It was a daunting task, and as of yesterday I finished.

Wow.

First of all, it gave me a little bit of perspective to where / when things occurred in the time line of…time. Even a while ago I had little concept of time beyond 4 minutes and 50 seconds (the time to microwave 2 hot pockets), but nowadays I find that even that is going, and the fact that I go to the right classes on the right days amazes me. But being able to place everything that happened into point in the past 3-4 years…it’s just a point of view I wasn’t expecting, and it’s kinda comforting to know when things happened, in addition to just knowing that they happened. A lot more happened then I remember on my own.

Also, I don’t think I’ve changed much. There was a point where you can tell I made a decision to be extremely selective of what I put into writing, but that’s not much of a change. It actually scares me to note that these mood swings / general crappy attitude I’ve had since I’ve come to college is actually something that’s always been there. I guess just being in a new situation brings it to light in a way it wasn’t being noticed before. I just like the fact that I actually figure out what’s causing it, but then I don’t do much about it. I liked my moody-ness to not sleeping, and then I just kept on not sleeping enough. interesting, stupid, and par for the course I suppose.

Aside from that, I think I’m just weird. And so that no one has to do that again, I made a list of all the posts I thought had some sort of relative or interesting content. Well, interesting to me at least. I present this list here, as a summary of what has come before, in hopes that I can now return and continue on forward with this new part of life.

First, the archives from korn.net/blog. The numbers corespond to the number of the url for the archive page (a.k.a. it’s the number of the post, but the posts are listed by date *shrug*). It may not be the most efficent method for linking to, but it’s less for me to write so that’s how I did it. (also note, the blurb with each entry is the note I took for it. None of this is really supposed to make sense to you, it’s for me. It’s always been for me.)

34 – first time I met Sheila
55 – Sunday edited on the ground of person conflicts
56 – First time explaining three personas
69 – Sudden depression
70 – lol
73 – UT2k4 writing and admittance of still broken.
74 – writing start
76/77- Ran the FUCKING Gambit
80 – End of freshman year
82 – Truck in field incident
89 – why Sheila broke up with me
100 – Sheila and I breakup
101 – want list
102 – dream
119 – what I want at night
121 – anger
134 – don’t need physical, just release
141 – ear infection
155 – people I notice
164 – sophmore year start
180 – different friends for different occasions
182 – sleep fixes anything
185 – “nunpile” WTF?
192 – Alienate EVERYBODY.
195 – figured it out, BUT FORGET!!!
200 – geeks better than cool people
204 – dance overanyalization
206 – peace
208 – rikki
214 – Hergedleion and TS
228 – sleepover at heather’s
230 – 2005
231 – no to suicide
239 – second person problem
246 – Insight comes out
253 – emo studies
255 – get trenchcoat
257 – asphault hypothesis
267 – get learners permit
270 – legal pad post
275 – 1 year of blog, so f*r*a*g’s!
276 – start of sig
285 – shower symbolism
294 – new domain name
296 – end of sophmore year
304 – link dump at NYSSSA
310 – one man hidden ninja city / Nysssa wrapup
311 – home from Nysssa
316 – Doom & Dice
317 – Start of Junior Year
(319 – Rabbit hair)
321 – Q&A theory of depression and satisfaction
324 – Uncle Jim Dies
332 – start of love/hate listings
333 – hate the mall
334 – Drama is my element
344 – lie on floor plan
347 – last post on korn.net/blog

At this point, I make my video blog. Being Youtube, I can just post it right here:

Then I start anew with oleetku.blogspot.com. (here I go by dates, but only because that’s all there is.)

3/5/06 – start blogger blog
4/8/06 – evangelion and bucket of truth
4/17/06 – many things learned
5/7/06 – rules slow you down, pile of crap theory
5/22/06 – columbine argument
(6/11/06 – actual breakup with sheila(?))
7/28/06 – Aloof one shot first mentioned
7/29/06 – notes on simpsons / music video
7/30/06 hanging (going?) out with Krystle / LCom’s freeware game review
8/9/06 – camping
9/25/06 – say I love krystle
10/13/06 – nickel for a noob
12/12/06 – have driver’s license (?)
1/15/07 – universe is ballanced
3/12/07 – death of the arcade

that’s it. If anyone wants more…you’re crazy. But feel free to go read. I, in classic fashion, and going to go to bed now. Cause I’m sick. And slept all day. But need more. Sleep. At least with this out of the way I can come back to this. Maybe. Let me sleep on it.

F*R*A*G: Everybody pisses on the floor. Be a hero and shit on the ceiling.