You know, I blogged earlier and I liked it. I really miss it. It’s a weird…thing? Experience? Activity? Yeah, sure. It’s not exactily like talking with someone (what with today’s world of email and IM ,you can see the comparision), but it also doesn’t feel completely like I’m making a public service announcement type thing, either. It’s a rant, pure and simple is what it is. Pick a topic and then let your mind follow the trail of that thought until it runs out of time, energy, or vespian gas trail. It’s like thinking, but only like a quarter the work of normal thinking! Plus is a solitary activity (the way I’ve always done it, not nessissairly always true), which is the kinda thing I’m usually up for.

Man, I really love the music in Cave Story.

It’s wierd tho, becaue it combines not talking to anyone in particular, and talking to everyone at once. And since anyone who wants can read it, you get some interesting responses. For me, usually, none at all. Or nothing substatntial, at least… *shrug*

See, in Psyc we learned about this thing called “learned helplessness”. It works kinda like this:

In part one of Seligman and Steve Maier’s experiment, three groups of dogs were placed in harnesses. Group One dogs were simply put in the harnesses for a period of time and later released. Groups Two and Three consisted of “yoked pairs.” A dog in Group 2 would be intentionally subjected to pain by being given electric shocks, which the dog could end by pressing a lever. A Group 3 dog was wired in parallel with a Group 2 dog, receiving shocks of identical intensity and duration, but his lever didn’t stop the electric shocks. To a dog in Group 3, it seemed that the shock ended at random, because it was his paired dog in Group 2 that was causing it to stop. For Group 3 dogs, the shock was apparently “inescapable.” Group 1 and Group 2 dogs quickly recovered from the experience, but Group 3 dogs learned to be helpless, and exhibited symptoms similar to chronic clinical depression.

In part two of the Seligman and Maier experiment, these three groups of dogs were tested in a shuttle-box apparatus, in which the dogs could escape electric shocks by jumping over a low partition. For the most part, the Group 3 dogs, who had previously “learned” that nothing they did had any effect on the shocks, simply lay down passively and whined. Even though they could have easily escaped the shocks, the dogs didn’t try.(Wikipedia)

See, it goes back to what I’ve been saying for a long time (kinda hit the subject in my video blog even!). Because you had some experience that you weren’t in control of, you start thinking that you never have control, and you don’t even try, which means you never realize that you actually do have control. It’s a shame. I feel really bad for those dogs. And I’ve know a number of people who have fallen victm to this. I need to find a fix to it one day…

(I suggest you read the rest of the wiki article. It’s something I find very interesting)

Okay, that’s it for me for now. Sleep needs to come, because college starts earlier then I’d like it too. In a sense, at least high school got me up early so by the time I woke up I was allready moving. Kinda like if you start driving your car in the back of a moving truck.

F*R*A*G: MINE MORE GAS.

So I found a lot of people in the previous generation to ours have told stories that begin “I had this roommate in college once…”. Those stories usually go on to involve how many games of beer “insert game here” they won, or how many hours consecutively they were awake, or how far to the left of the trampoline they landed. Many of them have to do with something ridiculous to a high quantity, come to think of it…

I am “proud” to say that now I am the roommate in one of those stories.

It all started last night around 10:30. After a number of hours without eating, I finally decided I was hungry enough to stop being lazy (in that way, being lazy is a great / horrible diet plan, but that’s a different story) and cook myself something to eat. Some honey BBQ chicken wings, to be exact. I had seen the pizza menu on the fridge advertising wings, and then I remembered we had some of our own in the freezer.

Knowing everyone else had pretty much just finished eating the Chinese food they ordered, I went ahead and cooked the whole bag. I had my reasons…Mainly that the resealable part of the resealable bag broke when I opened it, and the fact that there was another bag inside threw me off and made me think well, I guess I can’t really reseal the rest of these… A complete fallacy, I know, but it seemed to make sense at the time. I didn’t really think anything was wrong until Will asked, “How many did you make?” and I held up the empty bag and said, “…All of them…?”

“Why would you do that? We all just ate!”

“Oh well.”

18 minutes later, the wings were cooked. I had just finished an event in Forza Motorsport 2 and was ready for a break, so I took all the wings and sat where Will and Lincoln were. Then I ate all the wings. Then I died.

Okay, I didn’t really die. But it wasn’t until later that we found out that it was 2.25 pounds of wings. I suppose it’s less when you consider the massive pile of bones that were left when I was done, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that I ate all the wings. Sad part is, I didn’t have a problem with it until the last 7. And as some of you might know, a rule of food is that if you eat more then 50% of something in one sitting, you’re a pig UNLESS you finish the entire thing, in which case you’re the VICTOR. With this in mind, I drank a can of ginger ale and crawled my way bite by bite through those last 7 wings.

The biggest problem with those wings was that they were mostly goo. Not just the sauce on them, but the chickeny bits themselves. It’s not that they were undercooked, because there were no pink parts, it’s just that they had no fight to them. people without teeth could have put up a good fight against these wings.

But yeah, goo. When you put that much chicken goo into your stomach, your stomach gets pissed off. And it’s neat, because it’s not even a discomfort from your stomach. It’s more from like the lung region. It’s like your stomach is so full and busy trying to deal with all the bullshit you just put into it, that your lungs have to pass you the message that you’re a dumb shit.

Feeling a bit naseous, I knew I had to act fast. I had paul pass me the last of the V8 Splash (seeing as how I was unfit to move to the fridge under my own power) and I finished that off as well. The idea behind this was that the chicken goo was bad for me, so I had to negate it by pouring on something that was good for me. It’s just like neutralising a powerful acid with a powerful base. GREAT PLAN, HUH? So I just gave up and lied on the floor. 15 minutes later I wake up and am feeling good enough that I go to bed for real.

The part of this that makes it a great story, is that it can be exaduratded. I almost drank an entire 3 liter of cola instead of the V8. It would have been epic, but I knew I couldn’t handle that. But it still led to speculation of how the story could be more epic. Sitting at a table one evening, a child is asking for a third serving of food, and you begin to tell the tale…

“You know, I had a roomate in college once. One night he was hungry so he decided tohave something to eat. He ate all the food in the house, and then DIED.”

…and then that child has anorexia problems in life. But I digress.

Last night I ate an entire bag of wings by myself, and now even 12 hours later my stomach is still calling me an idiot.

College has some really fun parts.

F*R*A*G: This is by far the most adorable car ever made. Even the liscense plate says AWWWW!

So, I took it upon myself to go through every single blog post I ever made to my blogs – one by one. It was a daunting task, and as of yesterday I finished.

Wow.

First of all, it gave me a little bit of perspective to where / when things occurred in the time line of…time. Even a while ago I had little concept of time beyond 4 minutes and 50 seconds (the time to microwave 2 hot pockets), but nowadays I find that even that is going, and the fact that I go to the right classes on the right days amazes me. But being able to place everything that happened into point in the past 3-4 years…it’s just a point of view I wasn’t expecting, and it’s kinda comforting to know when things happened, in addition to just knowing that they happened. A lot more happened then I remember on my own.

Also, I don’t think I’ve changed much. There was a point where you can tell I made a decision to be extremely selective of what I put into writing, but that’s not much of a change. It actually scares me to note that these mood swings / general crappy attitude I’ve had since I’ve come to college is actually something that’s always been there. I guess just being in a new situation brings it to light in a way it wasn’t being noticed before. I just like the fact that I actually figure out what’s causing it, but then I don’t do much about it. I liked my moody-ness to not sleeping, and then I just kept on not sleeping enough. interesting, stupid, and par for the course I suppose.

Aside from that, I think I’m just weird. And so that no one has to do that again, I made a list of all the posts I thought had some sort of relative or interesting content. Well, interesting to me at least. I present this list here, as a summary of what has come before, in hopes that I can now return and continue on forward with this new part of life.

First, the archives from korn.net/blog. The numbers corespond to the number of the url for the archive page (a.k.a. it’s the number of the post, but the posts are listed by date *shrug*). It may not be the most efficent method for linking to, but it’s less for me to write so that’s how I did it. (also note, the blurb with each entry is the note I took for it. None of this is really supposed to make sense to you, it’s for me. It’s always been for me.)

34 – first time I met Sheila
55 – Sunday edited on the ground of person conflicts
56 – First time explaining three personas
69 – Sudden depression
70 – lol
73 – UT2k4 writing and admittance of still broken.
74 – writing start
76/77- Ran the FUCKING Gambit
80 – End of freshman year
82 – Truck in field incident
89 – why Sheila broke up with me
100 – Sheila and I breakup
101 – want list
102 – dream
119 – what I want at night
121 – anger
134 – don’t need physical, just release
141 – ear infection
155 – people I notice
164 – sophmore year start
180 – different friends for different occasions
182 – sleep fixes anything
185 – “nunpile” WTF?
192 – Alienate EVERYBODY.
195 – figured it out, BUT FORGET!!!
200 – geeks better than cool people
204 – dance overanyalization
206 – peace
208 – rikki
214 – Hergedleion and TS
228 – sleepover at heather’s
230 – 2005
231 – no to suicide
239 – second person problem
246 – Insight comes out
253 – emo studies
255 – get trenchcoat
257 – asphault hypothesis
267 – get learners permit
270 – legal pad post
275 – 1 year of blog, so f*r*a*g’s!
276 – start of sig
285 – shower symbolism
294 – new domain name
296 – end of sophmore year
304 – link dump at NYSSSA
310 – one man hidden ninja city / Nysssa wrapup
311 – home from Nysssa
316 – Doom & Dice
317 – Start of Junior Year
(319 – Rabbit hair)
321 – Q&A theory of depression and satisfaction
324 – Uncle Jim Dies
332 – start of love/hate listings
333 – hate the mall
334 – Drama is my element
344 – lie on floor plan
347 – last post on korn.net/blog

At this point, I make my video blog. Being Youtube, I can just post it right here:

Then I start anew with oleetku.blogspot.com. (here I go by dates, but only because that’s all there is.)

3/5/06 – start blogger blog
4/8/06 – evangelion and bucket of truth
4/17/06 – many things learned
5/7/06 – rules slow you down, pile of crap theory
5/22/06 – columbine argument
(6/11/06 – actual breakup with sheila(?))
7/28/06 – Aloof one shot first mentioned
7/29/06 – notes on simpsons / music video
7/30/06 hanging (going?) out with Krystle / LCom’s freeware game review
8/9/06 – camping
9/25/06 – say I love krystle
10/13/06 – nickel for a noob
12/12/06 – have driver’s license (?)
1/15/07 – universe is ballanced
3/12/07 – death of the arcade

that’s it. If anyone wants more…you’re crazy. But feel free to go read. I, in classic fashion, and going to go to bed now. Cause I’m sick. And slept all day. But need more. Sleep. At least with this out of the way I can come back to this. Maybe. Let me sleep on it.

F*R*A*G: Everybody pisses on the floor. Be a hero and shit on the ceiling.

carpe cannum – Seize the dog.
like Re vera, potas bene – say, you’re sure drinking a lot!
“Veni, Vidi, Dormivi” (I came, I saw, I slept)
Quo signo nata es? (What’s your sign?)
Nullo metro compositum est. (It doesn’t rhyme.)
Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema. (I don’t care. If it doesn’t rhyme, it isn’t a poem.)
Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant! (May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy!)
Totum dependeat. (Let it all hang out.)
Fac me cocleario vomere! (Gag me with a spoon!)
Te audire non possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. (I can’t hear you. I have a banana in my ear.)
Furnulum pani nolo. (I don’t want a toaster.)
Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare. (I think some people in togas are plotting against me.)
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione. (I’m not interested in your dopey religious cult.)
Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo. (Don’t call me, I’ll call you.)
Vacca foeda. (Stupid cow.)
Hic puer est stultissimus omnium! This boy is the stupidest of all!
lapsus alumni- error made
“delenda est Carthago” (Carthage must be destroyed)
Da mihi sis cerevisiam dilutam. (I’ll have a light beer.)
Magister Mundi sum! (I am the Master of the Universe!)
Non Gradus Anus Rodentum! Not Worth A Rats Ass!

Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinis alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes! If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin!)

Sona si Latine loqueris. (Honk if you speak Latin.)

(so much for tomarrow.)

Saturday was the best day. Everyone (except for Anders) finally sat through an entire pannel – Breaking into voice acting – and although Jill was the only one who wanted to go, we all stayed cause there was nothing better at the time.

This is also an allright time to mention that Jill was in costume, and although technically I wasn’t in costume, I did have my scarf, hat, and all black on. She looked better.

The reason Saturday was better was because we were all in sort of a daze where we didn’t really care where we were, so we were just happy everywhere, and were able to enjoy the con athmosphere. The “con athmosphere” was extremely apparent when we went to the nearby Burger King for lunch, and there in the back was Kenshin eating a Whopper, and then more and more characters kept comming in. You just don’t see that everyday. Also we were going to enter some tournaments, but then we went to the  “Saturday Night Anti-Cosplay Extravaganza”, where after the showing of Evangelion RE:DEATH DE:DUX, we decided nothing could be worth leaving that room for. Well, Ryan and I stayed the whole time, and Anders was in and out, and Paul, Jill, and Nobi left after a little bit to sit in the hallway. Then after Shinesmen and Ghost Stories and Record of Lodub war, we talked to them and decided to go home. Still decidedly the best day.

Not all that much to say about sunday. Anders dissapeared, Paul stayed at the house (because he only had enough money for a saturday ticket), Nobi and Jill went to a “Women in voice acting” pannel, and Ryan and I spent our time in the Video Game room, playing Halo 2, Melty Blood, GLOVE ON FIGHT, Taito Drum Master, that stupid eva import, I got my ass handed to me in Street Fighter III’rd strike, and we would’ve played some serrious Gituar Hero II, but some realllly fat guy was playing it the whole time we were in there. Then Jill and Nobi found us, Anders reappeared, and we had to leave by 12ish to get back here to Warwick in time for my graduation party. Then that lasted a long time and I died. All better now though.

I think we’re going to podcast about this, but I can’t promise when. But I think I’m going to convice people to come here on friday to do casts about Super Robot Taisen, the con, and Warning Forever. But that’s subject to change of course.

Apparently, ‘this’ is mainly anders, but also everyone else. And nobody likes fun. This is the main objectives of our trip to AnimeNEXT.

So we showed up yesterday, and waited on line for a little while to get our passes because we pre-registered . We thought that line was long, but then we saw the same line the next day when the con was actually open. That made us feel better, because we weren’t any of them. That’s a lie. Anders was one of them. Paul will be tomarrow.

Of course, when we were still on yesterday, we took a turn too sharp and blew out a tire somewhere in Jersey, while we were totally lost. This led to the interesting realization that all of the signs in the are were in Korean. This made us worried, because we were hungry, but in the event we finally found food we still wouldn’t know what it was. Then we were saved, because we found one sign in Italian: PIZZA. So we have a tiny recording of us in the pizzeria, waiting for the pizza to bring back to the broke down van where the rest of the caravan was waiting.

Then we made it to the house, unpacked, and made noise until we passed out.

This morning we actually made it to the con. Eventually. Anders was dropped off at some random location in New Jersey, and luckily the one we sent for coffee came back with him. Then, because we were still sans van, we packed into the car (people did have to sit on other people), and made it to the expo center. Big ass lines. Lucky we were all done with that (cept for anders, nyah nyah). Of course, when we got there there was nothing open yet except for the video rooms. Which we couldn’t find. Here’s a clue: When you’re in Jersey, if a map says “you are here”, you are not in fact there. But, we finally made it and watched us some Azu Manga Daioh. Good show, but I think it was more better in manga form. Then we checked out the art show, which there were some serriosuly good people there. Me and Tim definately need to get ourselves a table there one year. Maybe. Probably. Then we switched between the dealers room line and the video game room line for a while, until they decided there was no dealers line anymore, and the line to the game room dissapeared, so we went in there. Played some crazy Eva import game, Some Melty Blood, and some Halo 2. Melty Blood is pretty awesome, BTW.

Then we finally got to the dealers room. Anders Brian and Ryan went in first, and got…stuff. When they came back to watch the bags, Jill and I went in. I got the OS collection, Big O season one, Some revolvotech figures, and 2 old mixx zines. Jill got a buncha plushies and I bought 2 doujinshi for her. Now I’m on her good side. While we were in there, Anders went to the history of anime panel, and then after that we waited for our ride back to the house. Thus, a dinner and cleaning spree later, here we are.

More tomarrow.